(Andrew:)
When I was 12 years old I was at "Youth America" youth camp. It was an amazing time and a powerful moment in my Christian life. During one of the last services I was up front during worship and had an encounter with Jesus. All of a sudden I felt alone although there were hundreds of people around me I had a sense of loneliness come over me and I started to pray, "God why do I feel so alone, where are you?" In my spirit God responded, "Andrew, I AM here, I promise never to leave you or forsake you." Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and was overtaken by God's love, it was an amazing moment. After this moment, the pastor on stage asked if anyone here felt called to ministry and if so to come to the front for prayer. I immediately I felt a tug on my spirit that I was called and to go get prayed for. There were probably 50 of us lined up ready for prayer. Once he prayed for me and touched my forehead it released a powerful anointing, and I was taken away for a moment in the Spirit. From that day I knew in my heart that God was going to use me for something great. When I went back to our room for the night, I spoke with my youth pastor and as I told him what had happened he smiled and said, "I knew it from the moment you started coming here that God had a call on your life but I was not going to tell you, I was waiting on God to tell you first and I would just confirm it to you."
From that point on I was super involved while willing to learn and grow. As the years passed I didn't hear God affirming that call that I had felt and I drifted away. At the age of 19 Gof reminded me of the call He had on my life. God said, "Andrew it's time to stop running and start following the call of ministry I have put on your life." Now at the time of this reminder I was on summer vacation from business college and I was chasing my own goals and ambitions. After this reminder from God, I withdrew from business school and transferred to a bible college hoping that was what God wanted me to do. I eventually dropped out of bible college because I lost 1 of the 2 jobs I was working and didn't feel as if I could support myself and continue to go to school full-time. I then started helping out with the youth group at my church and learning about ministry, preaching, and perseverance. Now I wish everything was perfect during this time and that I was free from all sin but I had issues that I was dealing with. These issues made me feel as if I was not called at all and that my feeling of being called was all just a fantasy. One day at church I was praying and I told God that I was done. I told Him that He probably really didn't call me and it was just a crazy dream that I was chasing and I was full of so much sin how could He really use me? At that moment a man sitting behind me in service put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Andrew God is telling me to tell you that He did indeed call you for His glory and He will use your life for His purpose!" Unable to speak, I just cried and thanked God for His love and affirmation. This same experience of God affirming me happened about 4 or 5 more times within a year and a half.
As time went on, I went through a dry spell for about 3 years and started getting a little weary. I had bad theology on what a call really was and how it worked. Less than a year ago I went to a leadership conference at "Youth America" where God showed me what a call really meant. You see, I thought a "call" was me putting down my dreams and goals to follow God's dreams and goals. I figured that I would end up with the same results i would have got if i just continued to follow my own dreams. Such as a title, income, reputation, place of authority and stuff like that. God revealed to me what a true "call" was. This is what He told me:
"Andrew, a call is not an encouragement to lift up and chase your fleshly desires for being recognized or lifted high. It is not another dream to chase to replace your old selfish desires. It's an opportunity, a privilege to, while seeking My Heart and chasing after ME, I allow you to see the desires of MY Heart and the secret places I hide away and be a laborer with ME! To allow you to chase what I chase! To desire what I desire for MY CHURCH! To make your heart beat like MY HEART! Son, that is what a "call" is."
This was a big revelation to me. I had it all wrong but Jesus is faithful to put us on the right track. After this I definitely changed my approach on this "call" and it helped for sure. Later on that year God said it’s time for me to go back to bible school and I am now. But not because I want to be trained to be a pastor or minister but because I know that I would be immersed in God's presence here. Morning, noon and night I would have opportunity to seek Him and be with Him. Through my homework, classes, tests it would all be about Him so I can honestly say I'm not here for an education, but to be away with JESUS... Now this last encounter at the leadership conference was less than a year ago and I have still not been affirmed from God that He called me but it didn't bother me as much anymore until last Tuesday, (August 7th 2012), when my wife and I were at our weekly 3D young adult service at our new church. Pastor Paul spoke a message he felt was prophetic and it was all about, "You're going to make it!" He said that there was someone there that needed to hear that God is telling them "You're going to make it!" At first I was encouraged until the alter call and I asked God, "Dad I know that I’m going to make it and that your faithful but what was I going to make it in exactly? I knew I had a "call" on my life but don't know for what. Youth pastor? to be an adult pastor? to be a missionary? traveling evangelist? couples minister? You see, He was never specific to me about what He would use me for but I chose to follow this path and live a life of strong conviction and to be ready and able to help anyone, anytime, anyplace. So while at the alter I asked this and got no response. I left there feeling discouraged, frustrated, and even confused.. I started to say selfish things like, "Well God I'm not chasing my dreams anymore, I’m chasing yours" and " I’m not here because I want to be here but because You sent me here". It was not a good place to be in but I have to be honest that's where I was. So yesterday morning after taking Jami to work I was driving around listening to worship music and broke the silence between me and Jesus with a prayer of repentance. I had to ask Him to forgive me for saying those dumb things and that I was honored that He would give me a burden for the lost and chose me to live out this amazing journey of trust and excitement. I love the will of God and I look forward to these next 2+ years in building my relationship with Jesus and continuing to share in His sufferings.This IS my dream, and I WANT TO BE A PART OF GOD'S PLAN! I want to be able to live out His dream for His Church. God is Faithful and most of all GOD IS WORTHY!!!